etsy doubts, smok-a-phobia

So, it seems my sale notices should read:

lovingly created in a gas-laden prison; or similar.

or

for the record, i smoke. however, for those of who aren´t going to apply your moral hysteria against me, i only sew in rubber gloves, and carefully fumigate my breath before packaging. however, please be advised that over the last two hundred years, my studio has been lived in by smokers, pets, homosexuals, termites, mice, bacteria and ghosts. when you punch the walls, your fist will definitely break, because under all the lead paint, there is a layer of brick doom.



or

not only do i smoke, i´ve probably slept with your boyfriend. in this very dress

la bribonzuela

tiene dos caras/has two faces


bribonzuela, being of course a seeringly good and evil lass of open legs

Pulpi the Amputated octopus

Pulpi, whose name is derived from the spanish "pulpo," is a three-legged octopus from the mutant future. Pulpi is 17 inches long, and about as big around, and its head is hand emroidered and drawn. Pieced together from rare and unusual scraps of silk, wool and polyester, Pulpi is filled with recycled rags, and has a sturdy yet agreable texture, making an ideal silent companion for nights spent reading by the fire, under the sea or just about anywhere.