yendo

it´s been raining the week entire. just wake up rain. sometimes it stops long enough to go to bar or to give you the mistaken idea that you can put your laundry on the roof but no the things i want to bring to india are all wet and soaked with acid rain and i´m not sure if i have the strength to find the one drycleaner in valencia that will take pity on me and just dry the clothes... and i want ot be comfortable leaving everything, which is little, but ... the only effort i can put towards leaving it is to do nothing and to find myself there on the plane tonight wishing i´d thought more specifically about what wanted to buy and pack and here i have the illusion of a life, some work, some friends, some clothes, some art projects, some tea, some boyfriends, some habits of going and coming access to the same shower consistently. and i am leaving it and no one really knows whether i will come back to it or if i can except that i at the very least know that i very much am leaving everything as it is the clothes in the house, the music with the friends, to hold my place. and on to the india! i go to the india!